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We’ve all had moments in our lives we wouldn’t wish on Scott Rudin. I share them with you because, well, truth is truth, and when bad things happen to good people, we feel great `cuz it’s not us! And if I were not a writer and performer, these moments of joy would have lived and died and disappeared. Sometimes I look at my life and wonder if Larry David dreamed me. Thank you so much.” And this is not the time I asked a pregnant woman, “Ooh, when is the baby due?” and she was just fat. It’s all still there in your cache you know that, right?” “No, I had - ha! Really? Thank you.
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And this was not the afternoon a computer repairman, of Orthodox Jewish persuasion, turned away from my PC to say, “You surf a lot of porn.
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And this was not the night a subway clerk punched me in the face because I was mouthing off to him about my unswipeable Metrocard. Now, this is not the night my girlfriend dumped me at the movies because I made her stay through the closing credits…when she wanted to use the bathroom. I’d like to tell you about the most embarrassing, uncomfortable, humiliating night of my life. Just enjoy telling the story.ĭAVE – A middle-aged-but-youthful Jewish writer who has spent thousands of hours going to the theater in New York. The Miracle of Long Johns may be played on a bare stage with just three chairs and a small table with a beverage.Įxcept where obvious, blocking and stage movement can be up to the actor and director.
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Here’s the program for PGE’s Faces of America festival:Ĭlick Download to read or download (PDF) the play in standard playscript format Download Here’s a link to watch the play: Watch Three Percent I’m not being biased when I say director Darpan Joshi and actress Mischa Dani Goodman, as Avery, knocked it out of the park.
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My play was among the 25 works selected (out of 300 submissions - go me!) and went third in the lineup. 20, 2021, Three Percent was performed as part of The PlayGround Experiment’s third annual Faces of America Monologue Festival. Requirements held authors to these three rules: the play should run no longer than two minutes, the subject matter should “represent America’s incredible diversity,” and the word “change” must be in the script. This was penned as an entry for a contest specifically calling for plays about marginalized communities. Is there a certain percentage that would have been…? Like 20? 51? I’ll send the next person in. Okay, entitled isn’t the best – but you comprende what I’m saying, si? And you had to overcome so many obstacles to get even where you are. No, I’m not equating - look, I realize you’re Latina, or X. If you go to the doctor, and the doctor says “97 percent of you doesn’t have cancer,” guess what you have? But I get the oppression, and I feel I’m very colorful and vibrant, which I’m sure comes from that three percent. Do I eat a lot of tacos and tamales? I’m a runner, I can’t. I mean, it’s mostly English and German, but if you go back to the great great great grandparents, there it is. My dad is straight English-Irish up and down the chain. I’m pretty sure it’s on my mother’s side. I’m sure you’ve - yes! Right? So the report came back, and I am Hispanic. I mean, to look at me, I’m not (air quotes) “Hispanic.” But it’s in me. How does my heritage…? Oh, I feel connected, you know? I mean, South America, Latin America. No, I don’t speak Spanish, I took French. I was actually surprised at the question, but I guess for record-keeping. So hard work, doing a bit of everything, learning as I go - that’s me. As my resume shows, I worked part-time all through college, on top of babysitting my cousins and keeping on with track. I stayed on the debate team, the track team, French club, chorus. When I was a senior in high school, and I already knew I was going to Wesleyan, that didn’t change anything. She is nervous, eager, smiling, and trying to crush it. –> CLICK to read or download (PDF) in standard play formatĪVERY – 22, blonde white woman with midwestern looks.Īvery sits in an office chair, facing her interviewer.